Mirror

Last weekend, I have discovered something in me.  It was not about conquering 2,280 ft of hike atop the Chimney Rock but, realizing the pain so familiar through someone else's eyes.

I just watched my story right in front of me.  This time, I did not try to struggle.  I have just let it run its course.  I share the pain of an acquaintance.  Living at the moment, cherishing the little time left to appreciate what you have before letting go. 

Is it a gift or is it a curse?  Love.  Forbidden.  Bound to play the rules of God and of man.  The game was never easy.  Some win and some lose.  I have lost by the time I started to play.

Tour

It's late and I have got a lot of things to do.  My daily patient notes remain untouched.  I have to prepare for the trip to the mountains this weekend.  Lastly, I have to learn how to use my new phone.

I am not a techy guy but, I try my best to go with the flow of the times.  Earlier, I felt the need to upgrade my phone.  My poor flip phone has reached its critical stage. The screen has developed a liquified form of pixel which the health department will classify as unsanitary.   I think I burned up what's inside the LCD with three years of long hours of talk time.  Complaints were also received from friends who were getting a busy signal even if I have been patiently waiting for their calls, thinking I was left out of the group.  While trying to fill in a gap in my schedule for the day, I stopped by my network with determination to replace my sickly phone. 

After a warm welcome at the door, I immediately turned my way to the new phones.  I wanted an iphone initially but, my friends and I have resolved to stay with our current network due to confidential issues.  LOL.  Since my nework does not carry the apple product, I settled for another fruit, the blackberry.  Customer service was great.  The lady have answered most of my questions satisfactorily.  The only problem I have is that I am not a "manual" person.  I have an allergic reaction to a manual, for whatever product it may be.  Nevertheless, I have patiently killed time understanding and absorbing all the information the lady gave me.  She also tried to transfers my voicemail and contacts.  Transferring the voicemail was a success but, the transfer of contacts was a dreaded calvary.  I have to manually transfer all my contacts which left me awake 'til the wee hours.  I have to stop at J.  I badly need sleep to make it to work later. 

I hope I find time to fit learning to use the features of the phone and optimize its use.  I have paid big bucks to let it be just in paperweight mode all the time.  May the gods of technology smile upon me.

Let's see...I still have 30 days to figure out if this phone works for me.  Otherwise, I'll shove myself back to the cave of the primates.

Play

I love perfumes.  It's one of the bonding moments my friends and I had in high school.  One of the teachers actually tagged our group as the "fragrant ones".  I didn't know if I'll be flattered, specially if it was an old man on his retirement who would compliment us.  We went to his wake a few years ago bringing flowers, just to remind him that we were the "fragrant ones".

Perfume as gift is classic for me.  It is quite expected if I want to play it safe.  I have been complimented for good choices anyway.  :-)   Usually, I shop for perfume with AL.  We try all bottles and samples until our noses can't keep up with us.  And both of us get our fragant presents from RD when he comes home.  And we'll be wearing them on the first night out that week.

The perfumes I have worn ranges from Armani to Zegna.  Some bad choices in between.  I used to have a scent I wear to work, to shopping, meeting friends, bar hopping, to church, to bed, and just about anything.  It's been a while since I bought my last bottle.  I still have stocks of them but I wanted to try the new fragrance of Givenchy Play.  If it will be the intense or not, I do not know yet but, I really wanted to scout for a new scent.   Maybe next time AL will be with me to shop for perfumes.

Easter in October

I received a call today from an old classmate (late call).  Just a chat on the usual how are you's, then he asked about one profile in facebook.  This profile was using Bin Laden's pictures.  Apparently, he's staying in the Middle East.  The comments we've made on his post have gotten into a regular chat and fast becoming into an epic. 

As always, RS have been asking when I'll visit them in NY/NJ area.  I have visited the states a few times already and I have deliberately not contacted them everytime.  One of the reasons is that of time constraints, the other is that they may be expecting the old me... which I think the new me ate up.  LOL.

I will try my best to see them next time I fly to NY, which may be the time I will renew my passport at the end of the year. 

The conversation will not be complete unless the name of his cousin, Garfield, will find its way into the topic.  I told him I have just talked to his cousin a few weeks ago.  RS still thinks of high school.  I can't help it.  Neither can he, I think.  After all, he was the one who discovered the archaic form of blogging called the diary.. my diary. Then, I became a legend.... loved by all.  He also found out that he was an Easter bunny... but that's another story.  LOL.

Appleman

Stress marks my first day at work in Dunn.  I get a new computer, new work phone, new area, new office, new faces and names to memorize, and the same old work.  I think getting around the area is the most stressful of them all.  I'll get used to it eventually. 

I took a deep breath before I started blogging.  A conscious effort and visualization of putting my mind in relax mode for a while.  I need a new strategy to make this easier this time.  I should be wiser.  Thankfully, old friends will help me along the way. 

To relax myself, I watched the premier of The Next Iron Chef. Yes, I just recorded it.  I recorded the repeat from 12 midnight to 1:30 am.  My DVR can only record two shows at the same time and I was already recording Desperate Housewives and Hootie and the Blowfish's concert in Charleston.  I am more inclined to a chef who is very bold with what he prepares.  This season, I am starting to like the style of Nate Appleman.  The 2009 James Beard Rising Star Chef of the Year and part-owner of Pulino's Bar and Pizzeria in NY which will open sometime in December. 

It is just the first episode anyway.  There will be more to see in the next battles to come.  Appleman happened to win the first challenge with his unlaid egg yolk carbonara with chicken intestines (or fallopian tubes?) and zabaglione with unlaid egg yolk crumble.  Mmmmmm, yummy.  Hopefully next time they will feature more usual edible food and show their extraordinary take on it.  I don't do a lot of fear factor.  :-)

Cheers!!!

This afternoon, I went back to the old office in Burgaw where I have spent most of my three years of stay working as a therapist.  I shredded all clutter paperwork and threw all the junk I keep on my table.  Clean slate just like how I started.

I do not want to sound too sentimental because as the three year contract I signed with my current company nears its end, I have not been enjoying coming to the office anymore. Changes with the people I work with had a lot of influence.  Throughout my stay, I worked with three patient care coordinators, three support staffs, two occupational therapists, one certified occupational therapist assistant, two nurses, one aide, one physical therapist, one social worker, and one physical therapist assistant.

I loved the first people I worked with.  They made me feel welcome and it did ease missing the kind of bonding you have when working with fellow Filipinos.  My first months of stay is a lot of getting-to-know stage and a lot of adjustments while trying to understand each others' culture.  The laidback lifestyle drove me crazy!  Driving long hours throughout the day wore me out.  Still, by the time patients open their doors, I put a big smile on my face.  High school theater guild did me wonders.

The ever changing policies with insurance companies and wide array of personalities you would meet at every home kept me in my toes.  Well, maybe for the first few months.  As time passed by, I found myself barefoot deeply rooted in the mud.  LOL.  I guess you will never tame the bitch in me. 

Thinking of the number of patients I have spent time with, both willingly and regretfully, a select few had a niche in my cold, dark heart.  They were the few I had long conversations with outside work time, leisure walks on the farm, exchanged recipes, discussed other cultures and felt very close with.  They taught me how to operate a tractor, pointed the best entertainment in the city, suggested what to do's in a city they lived in and of course, recommended the best restaurants.

Definitely, I will miss my work friends.  The small, non-patient related talks we have every staff meetings will be missed.  My head is focused on the good memories that happened in the office.  The not-so-nice ones will be laughed at in a few more days.  Evidently, I skipped the ones I would like to have a regression with a psychoanalyst in the future.  :-)  Alright, it cannot be just skipped.  The handful of people, patients and co-workers, who made my life a living itch, so annoying that it cannot be scratched, I bid you good riddance!

As I raise my strong double shot cosmopolitan,  I say cheers to every extraordinary event that served as a fiber to build a beautiful tapestry called my three year stay in Burgaw!

Superstitions etc.

Call me superstitious! 

Well, I don't really categorize myself as one but, there is one incident that always happens when I hear a certain Tracy Chapman song -- "Fast Car".  I swear, I am not makng this up but, everytime I hear that song I am at risk for a vehicular accident.  Proof came in earlier, at around 1:30 pm, after I got my chicken nuggets at the drive thru of McDonald's in Wallace, a pick up truck rammed my car. 

It was just a soft thug that caused much damage to the foil-thin door of my car.  I immediately asked the driver if she was hurt.  She said she's fine and asked me back.  I am still in one piece, so I thought I was ok.  She told me it was her first time to be involved in a car accident, all 73 years of her life.  I lied.  I said it was my first time too.  Virgin.  Could I fake this one?!

Of course, to my defense, I never ran into anyone or have been involved in an accident that was my fault.  It has always been that my car was stationary and someone runs into me.  This would be my fourth time.  Not a virgin but, I won't consider myself a pro.  Friends in the Philippines know how I drive.  I can drive while I'm  one case of beer or three bottles of tequilla drunk and not be in an accident.  I can drive with a lead foot trying to beat time hopeful that I won't be late for work and still I don't get involved in a mishap.  But if I were stationary, that will be a different story. 

Not that I have really counted on it but, one common denominator when I get into an accident is Tracy Chapman's song "Fast Car".  It's either the song is currently playing when it happens or I have heard the song before the accident.  Eerie, the supposed to be trivia becomes more of a fact.

Ealier today I was at the office doing my last check on some paperwork that I need to finish before I transfer to another office on Monday.  Suddenly, I heard "Fast Car" on the radio.  I had the urge to get out of the building so I won't hear it.  Instead, I stayed throughout the song because I was on hold on the phone.   I really had a bad omen about this.  Intuition.

I love Tracy Chapman.  I love her take on songs, their messages, easy melody that makes you join her singing.  I have two of her albums.  Fast Car is one of her songs I enjoy most, along with "The Promise".  Is there something about that song?  If I hear it play in my car, I would deliberately change the tuner.  How can I deny the fact, though I know its just crazy imagination, that I usually hear it before or during an accident?  What would Madame Auring say?

Paraiso

One summer night five, six years ago, I was with VG and we decided to have a naughty nightout.  Somewhere along the dark roads of Bulacan, we dared to entertain ourselves with cheap music and slow dancing.  Maybe cheap was not the appropriate word for that because the bill caused me all the cold cash in my wallet.  As long as we have gas, we'll be ok.  We headed out home as the newly discovered hideout was about to close.  I still vividly remember the laughs we had and how well mannered my friend was in a jungle of hustlers.  Believe me, it was his idea.  I only obliged to his request. 

While laughing heavily about the remarkable fun time we had, the traffic on the pitch black service road in the wee hours caught our attention.  I hate traffic.  That is a declaration. No questions asked.   I am a safe drag race driver.  More to our surprise, a young lad was knocking at VG's side of the window.  VG was afraid that there was a violent man running amok or something that will endanger us.  The lad shouted for help.  There was an accident.

VG and I looked at each other for a moment. Years of friendship earn you a power for telepathy.  Read each other's thoughts.  We decided to help.  At that hour, you will be lucky if help from the police will come in an hour.  And because we regard ourselves as supreme beings, thinking we are the most beautiful creatures that ever graced the earth, the high heavens smiled at us and help arrived in five minutes in the form of the local town surveillance team, more popularly known as barangay tanods, a therapist and a pharmacist.

The report was that a collision happened between a motorcycle and a bicycle.  Weird thing to happen considering the time.  The boy riding the bicycle was rushed to a nearby primary hospital.  The two young men on the motorcycle however were still at the scene.  The driver of the motorcycle was doing ok.  The passenger however, sustained cuts and was having intense pain on his left leg.  Since no other vehicle was available at that time, we decided to bring the lad to the hospital too. 

Inside my pick up truck, I asked VG to attend to the wounds with the boxes of alcohol swabs I have diligently collected at work.  I call that stealing with a noble purpose.  I continued with asking about some information and the accident.   It must be the strong alcohol I have paid four times its price at the bar but, I swear, was my friend flirting?  I have to give it to VG.  I could never think of a worse time and situation to flirt. 

At the hospital, the only person manning the so-called emergency room was a newly graduate nurse.  All she did was to attend to the wounds with cotton and alcohol.  I doubted if they even have any stronger pain medication other than paracetamol.  I talked to the boy riding the bike.  He told me his version of the story.  Clearly I was not after the truth.  I only wanted to get his parents' numbers and call them right away.  Just for the record, upon quickly doing an assessment, there were no major problems, no head trauma, no fractures... just bruises and abrasions.   The patient I brought in however, was still in pain.  Since some of my patient's friends are at the hospital now and would be able to talk to the boy's parents once they come in, we decided  to bring my patient to the hospital I know in Pampanga.  I still know some people who work at the emergency room whom I know won't give me a hard time.  Well, the real agenda was to play drunk cupid.  It was a dating game show.  Thirty minutes of question and answer on every out of this world topics were covered.  VG even tried to pair me up with the patient's best friend.  Mind blowing!  We laughed so hard when we came to know that the best friend just got married a week ago.  What's with the married people?! I need a break!

A short stop at the bank was needed.  None of us had any cash. Charity works round the clock.  Anything to make that night memorable for my friend, I would do.

At the hospital, none of my friends were on duty.  Nevertheless, the staff attended us well.   An x-ray was done to finally rule out  possible fracture.  The wounds were cleaned and wrapped.  It was early morning.  I thought it was time to put everything in order.  Prescribed with strong pain medications and antibiotics, we went to the pharmacy to buy the medicines.  This is the shining moment of the pharmacist to show his importance and to announce to take one to two tablets every 4-6 hours for the pain medication and one capsule two times a day for the the antibiotics.  The sun is about to rise.  I really need to call it quits. 

The patient's gang in bikes, gathered at a gasoline station nearby the accident area, were worried.  Revelation.  Their friends came out of my truck along with two gorgeous bundles of fabulousness.  The amazement in their eyes was all worth the adventure.  They said their thank you's, we said our welcomes, all said their goodbyes, and that was the show for the night.

Around lunch time, I woke up with a message on my phone.  VG thinks he is in love.  I need a bottle of Absolut Vodka... Grey Goose will be a treat... Jose Cuervo will put me back to sleep!

Two days later, I was invited to a dinner. Some kind of gesture of appreciation for all the help we have extended.  The patient was doing well, no fracture, just a bad sprain.  I politely declined the invite.  With a smile, I thought to myself.... if you only knew my type....